go GO gADget BLOG!!!

with

2009-03-06T04:03:40Z

i just deleted my myspace account. i don't know what came over me. i logged into it just like i do almost every day. there are never any comments. the friends requests are bullshit. i look through some of my friends' pages (*cough* damian's *cough*) . they ( he) don't (doesn't) have any comments. its a waste of time. so i cancel my account.

then i watch the big bang theory for a few hours. i develop an unhealthy obsession with john galecki.

hmm...

it seems wrong to say, "i develop an unhealthy obsession with john galecki."
other than the possibly mis-spelled last name, the word "with" implies that we are doing something together.
he had no say in this.
i didn't masterbate with him. i didn't look at google images with him. i didn't scan forums to see if he was gay with him. so how can i have an obsession with him? yet, i hear people describe their obsessions using the term "with" and not "about" or "on" so i'm gonna do it... with him....hopefully, one day. if he's not gay. the forums were inconclusive.

so what did i conclude from my search?

john galecki has a myspace. he even blogs. but he's account is private and you have to be his "friend" to look at his profile. FUCK! i immediatly regret my decision. i am an irrational fuck who really needs some house keys. i lost them and now my life is this: obsessions with minor celebrities and spur of the moment internet purging. and it was all going so well...

2008: don't hate, appreciate, congratulate, contemplate, refridgerate

2009-01-19T04:21:42Z

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
had show produced in nyc (get ready to read this a lot) moved to nyc, dyed hair brown, visited washington dc, saw a broadway show, saw an off-broadway show, worked at a restaurant, flew on a plane, road a train, road a subway, improv, did a kid's show, saw madonna... shoo lots of firsts. although, the booty remains untouched and i have yet to get a tattoo. haha!

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
"move it out"- hell yeah, i kep it! i can't believe i actually kept it! i think that's a first for me too.
so far i'm doing 100% well on this year's: do not ever sleep in contacts.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
yes! timmy and brooke kidwell had twins!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
yeah, dale mcgilliard. a very beloved theatre professor.
he said in class, "heidi, people are either gonna love you are hate you. you're either gonna be exactly what they want are miles away from it. so just get used to that."
good advice. this is after someone told me, "when you walked in for the audition, i didn't know if you were a smartass or a little girl."
haha, i'll never forget that...also, he cast me in my favorite role so far, magenta in rocky horror. the man had me flying! dream come true. aww, and now it's his turn to fly. :D he will be missed here though.

5. What countries did you visit?
kentucky's pretty country. *rimshot*

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
both of "underwear's" opening nights. especially, the opening night at mtsu. debra barsha this pretty big deal from nyc came to critique it. someone offered her a chair after the show, so she could address the cast and crew. she said, "i can't sit down right now, it was fucking amazing!" one of the best moments of my life.

and one of the worst: i'll never forget my last date with damian or the day we broke up.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
underwear takes the cake again.

9. What was your biggest failure?
the breakup, again.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
not physically. mentally, i've never been more ins@Ne!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
plane ticket home for christmas

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
kaitails! this girl cannot be celebrated enough!
without chris ford, will brumley, and joe barros i would not be in nyc though. i owe them soo much!
adam, courtney, bethany and justin made my little musical awesome though. brandon gwinn might have had something to do with it too;)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
whew, i hate this question. i'd hate my behavior if i called people out so, i gotta plead the 5th on this one.

14. Where did most of your money go?
undies, rent, transportation

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
undies, having a pool, living in nyc, the dc trip, thanksgiving in dirty jerz

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
"whats that playing on the radio, why do i start swaying to and fro..."
that beyonce song with "pat yo weave ladies, pat pat yo weave ladies"
both songs, i do not know the title too. haha

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? my highs and lows are much more heightened
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner, i work in a 3 story restaurant and walk everywhere.
iii. richer or poorer? about the same, i was broke in tn and i'm broke in nyc!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
writing! for someone who called herself a writer most of last year, i didn't work on too many new projects.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
drinking! i was a maniac!

20. How did you spend Christmas?
spent the night at my brothers in clarksville (long story & LOVE THEM EVEN MORE NOW). drove to my mom's in kentucky. opened presents! ate an amazing breakfast! drove to murfreesboro, hung out with my dad, stepmom, brothers, uncle charlie & stepgrandparents all day. it was AMAZING. i had such a great christmas!

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
why ya gotta go there, quiz?

23. How many one-night stands?
why ya gotta go there, quiz?

24. What was your favorite TV program?
LOST! true blood was a pretty sweet guilty pleasure though.
okay, its not on tv but i fell in LOVE with "the lonely island." google it!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
no to the way.

26. What was the best book you read?
a low life in high heels- the holly woodlawn story.
funniest book I've ever read!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
unknown hinson
rediscovery of poison.

28. What did you want and get?
a new phone, to spend christmas with my family, to live in nyc, and *shocker* to have underwear produced in nyc!

29. what did you want & not get?
a perm, produced on broadway, into the nytv festival, a laptop, to see 'gyspy'

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
juno? forgetting sarah marshall? milk?

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i turned 24. had a sweet little house party with some amazing people! oh, how i wish i could gather that group for a party this year! drank too much. corey repond called everything in our house "gay." katie put on "edward penishands." corey said, "this movie's ruining your party"...or something like that. so i take out my big black dildo and start talking into it. then we put on singstar! played that. but even with microphones available, the dildo continued to get some attention...from people singing into it, not from anything dirty...that i'm aware of...

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
more time with dildo...
jk
i was very, very social this year...but i could always use more time with friends and family.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
2007 meets accessories

34. What kept you sane?
katie, anna, chris ford, joe barros

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
my forever classic as a pressed white shirt crush, terry o'quinn *sigh*

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
that one about the straw, remember that one? it was really stirrin...

37. Who did you miss?
damian, my brothers, katie n anna, my rents, locke,

38. Who was the best new person you met?
joe barros wins and i've met some AMAZING people this year. and some crazies, shout out to rick and linda!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
jobs are good.
nyc is a very expensive city.
don't watch lost on the plane, even if it is the only video you have on your ipod.

40. quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"we're zany to the max
there's balogna in our slacks"

but really, i'm gonna share a secret with you. it's my guilty pleasure song. this song gives me sooo much pleasure and i feel so ridiculous for it. its... it's..."lose yourself" by eminem. this song gets me going! there's just an urgency in the music and in his voice! and the lyrics, OH MY GOD, no wonder this song won him an oscar so here goes:

Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot,
another day of monotony
Has gotten me
to the point, I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot
fore I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only motherfucking option,
failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot
So here I go its my shot.
Feet fail me not
cause this maybe the only opportunity that I got

YOU BETTER!...

Oh my god, I love that song so deeply! Like truly, now that you know this, please don't play it at a party because you think it's "my jam." it's more than my jam. it's kinda personal. like i wouldn't play your favorite porno if i knew it because it would embarrass you. i'd sing into your dildo, of course. but i wouldn't sing "lose yourself" because it's just too personal. naw mean, man? somethings are sacred like bootyholes and the lords name.

LOVE MWAH XXOOOxxooo
Heidi!

Indiana Jones Was Gone For A Long Time & People Welcomed Him Back.hint

2008-06-16T22:02:58Z

Name:
Heidi Mare Ervin Frankenstein (sigh...someday)

Height on your driver's license:
5'5 (i think. it's currently lost)

What is your geekiest interest?
speaking of lost...I HEART THAT SHOW SOO MUCH.

What's the funniest thing you misunderstood as a kid?
black people. "are you black all the time?"- me to a neighbor

What's a song you could listen to over and over again?
Brian Wilson- "Heroes & Villians" off Smile maybe
Song I can't do this with and tried recently?
Xanadeau: those crazy punker holligans

You're minding your own business one night when you're abducted by aliens. They leave behind no evidence except a diamond-shaped scar on your back.
Which of your friends is most likely to believe you?
Anna Whitehead. Girl loves some X-Files

Speaking of aliens, which of these is most likely to exist: bigfoot, the loch ness monster, UFOs, ghosts, or closet monsters who will totally eat you when you aren't looking?:
UFOs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saM4SktsRCo
Buy yourself a probe-whistle while you still can!

What's a food you like better while drunk? (If you don't drink, what's a food you like better while high on smack?):
jizz (someone had to say it)

Someone wrote a biography of your life, and you get to choose who writes the introduction.
Who do you get?
Brandon Gwinn

Which artist (living or dead, famous or not) would you like to do a portrait of yourself?
Glamour Shots

If you could inhabit one of your friends' bodies for a day, who would you choose to be?
This is a toss-up between my mom & Courtney Cowart. With my mom, it would serve as a sort of time-machine and Freaky-Friday-type lesson. With Courtney I would find out what it's like to be really really hot and have lots of sex.

You get in the car, and the radio is already blaring.
What station is it probably on?
The Beat, AH yea! Or The Rock!(gutair solo)

What's the last dream you remember having?
I drove Anna and Jayme to a mall. They waited in the car and were very pissed when I finally came back. In the mall, there were stores like in any mall. But these stores were filled with musicals. Musicals currently on Broadway were playing in the place of department stores in malls. Seems neat but it was very creepy like cartoon gypsy creepy. Thank you TONY AWARDS!

What's the most boring activity you can think of?
Anytime you HAVE to listen to someone boring talk is the worst. It's WAY worse than being by yourself. When they don't let you get a "Yeah" "I can't believe that" "No way" in...if they're one of those "Lemme finish" "Stay with me" types. It's murdah.

You're only allowed sex two days a year-- which days do you choose?
February 15th & July 4th

Turns out you're gay. Which friend do you ask out first? (We assume they've also turned gay, if they aren't already. And if you're gay already, well, you've turned straight.)
Bethany Stollar, maybe. A lot of my girl-friends are kinda gay already so it's hard to answer this. Also I just said "my girl-friends" so I'm kinda gay too.

You're in a mall when the zombies attack, what weapon do you choose? (Assume unlimited ammo, if applicable.)
lamps. love the idea of busting their brains with lamps.
i'd also like to use my acting skills like shaun of the dead.

You've been transported into a cartoon. Which toon town do you hope it is?
Doug's town of Bluffington. I, single tear, think they would understand me there. PLus, I dig The Beets. Bet I could listen to "Killer Tofu" all the time too.

Thanks Charlie! This quiz RawwkKeDDd!

Catsup

2008-01-04T07:50:57Z

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
graduated college, lived in nashville with katie gant & anna whitehead, lifted 1 & 1/2 tons of Dasani water several times in one 8 hr. shift, lived with my boyfriend

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
This is where it gets sad:
quit smoking (nope), get financial stability (nope), graduate (YAAAY!), get off my fat ass (not much), open up and really let people in (not so much), really learn how to enjoy an apple not just consume it (think i ate about 2 apples the whole year)
next year's goal: move it out

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
laura evans? anna nicole?

4. Did anyone close to you die?
robet goulet? anna nicole?

5. What countries did you visit?
kentucky

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
money, paying acting jobs, could've use more damian anaya

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
the day i graduated college. it was the most all-american day of my life.
also, my dad's wedding.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
the graduating thing, and getting Underwear produced.

9. What was your biggest failure?
not enough time with loved ones, backing out of the marathon, the country wife

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nope, i credit it to not running ;)

11. What was the best thing you bought?
bought my bro a liquor dispensing globe for christmas :D

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
brandon gwinn: his dedication is relentless & inspiring

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
nobody

14. Where did most of your money go?
rent, food, gas, cell phone

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Underwear the Musical! Zombies, Zombies, Zombies & LOST!

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
the music of sam the sham.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? up & down
ii. thinner or fatter? lil fatter
iii. richer or poorer? MUCHO poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
acting, damian, partying, cooking, cleaning, saved cash

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
sitting

20. How did you spend Christmas?
woke up at 8, opened presents with mom, jim, bruce and brian. ate a delicious breakfast. got dressed went to granny's. opened presents with dad, cynthia, granny, papa, and uncle charlie. then went to SWEENY TODD with my bros!

22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
"i fell down the stairs"

23. How many one-night stands?
cero (that's zero in spanish, not a dude)

24. What was your favorite TV program?
LOST!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope

26. What was the best book you read?
Amy Sedaris' "I Like You..."

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
sam the fuckin sham!

28. What did you want and get?
a LOSTume party!

29. what did you want & not get?
a perm

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Sweeny Todd

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
singstar party!! ( oh, shit i forgot about singstar, totally a 2007 staple!)

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
more singstar, damian, friends, money, parties.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
a more boring and recycled version of 2006.

34. What kept you sane?
damian, anna, katie, brandon, lost.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
terry o quinn. he won an emmy!

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
that one about the straw, remember that one? it was really stirrin...

37. Who did you miss?
locke, damian, sawyer, murfreesborians, charlie, clarksvillans

38. Who was the best new person you met?
jeremiah sager of tpac. best boss ever.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
fun work is hard to come by but so is food when you don't have a job.

40. quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"the world's a brownie and i'm gonna bake it!
in this magical marvelous modern-day moxey-filled world"

Hello Young Lovers Wherever You Are

2007-10-15T23:17:54Z

Who can name that tune???

I'm at work. It's going well. Somedays I think "Wow, I'm getting paid to write blogs and eat lunch" and then I remember how much it sucks to manage 50 year old women and lift 140 cases of coke. But I think this is a good place for me, right now, for several reasons, reasons I won't get into because I'm on the clock. Okay I will:
getting in very good shape, walking at least 2 miles a day, lifting coke, etc
healthcare, haven't been to a dentist in years, looking forward to it
money is decent
people are decent
very flexible, full-time hours
it's a theatre, whoop, whoop

Other than TPAC, living with Anna and Katie is wonderful. We need to clean and have a party soon, very soon.

I've been re-united with Damian! He spent last week in Baltimore and I picked him up from the airport yesterday. I wore a cabby hat, bowtie and black jacket, thank you very much.

I'm muy excited about Underwear the Musical! Brandon and I have done a lot of heavy re-writes and I think it's really gonna be something. So yaay.

I have to move soon, soon meaning within the year. The acting bug is stinging me harder than ever. Making these little movies and being surrounded by theatre I can't do is probably the cause. Also, I get to spend a whole lot of time by myself and in my own head, which I love. But yeah, gotta do something before I forget all I've learned and get old.

This was boring, I'm sorry. I'm tired. Love you. Holla

HDiggidy

ChAKA kAHN!

2007-08-26T03:43:35Z

As many of you know, I cheated on someone I love. I feel bad about it but at the time it seemed like a good idea. That's right. I'm sorry LJ but I blogged on myspace. And it sucked. I hate blogging on myspace. What was I thinking? *Barf*

Anyways, I graduated and I got a gold watch, to find out more read the dirty mistake of a blog on my myspace page. (NOt even worth the trouble of a link)

BUT I'll share my bigger news with you, LJ & lj community. I finally got a job and it's actually pretty cool. I work at TPAC as assistant concessions manager. It's a full time gig. I record inventory, stock inventory, keep the books, keep the concessions/bartenders in line, etc. I love it there, maybe a little too much. Everyone is cool and nice professional, if the pay wasn't crappy I'd probably end up in Nashville 4-ever ($10/hr) ALSO, I have to learn how to bartend and get my ABC card (nice skill). I'm hype about it, at least so far :D

And for the biggest news of all I LOVE demolition derbys (sp?)!!!!<3!!! Katie, Anna, Carlos (Honduras), CJ, Jeff, Clint, plus many more went to the Cheatham (sp?) County Fair and for$8 rode some rides, saw some sweet airbrush tees, cellulite and CARS SMASHING INTO ONE ANOTHER! I had the most redneck fun of my life. Katie, Anna, and I are obsessed with it now. We're searching for the next...tournament, I guess you'd call it. It rules. You all have to go.

Yeah, so that's about it w/me: TPAC & demolition derbies (sp?). ALso, I hada really fun time in Clarksville the last time I visited. I hope to be back soon. I miss Lizzie,Joe, Shaun, AND I didn't even get to see Aaron or Jessica or Laura Z. So, I'll HAVE To come back soon. My mom, stepjim, and Brian are moving to KY so that'll complicate visits,but whatev.

God, this is a boring blog. Sorry bout it. :/

OH, I'm doin a zombie movie soon...not playin a zombie but it should be fun. Wanna be a zombie? It's prolly shootin early Sept?

And that's it.

No wait... Underwear the Musical is going great! Brandon and I are really cleaning it up. Moving things around, beefing up charcs, cutting bad jokes, added songs, it's gonna be really good, I think. Very excited bout it.

The only thing sucking for me right now is... I don't get to see Damian much. He works a lot, I work now. He's coming over later tonite but I miss him. Once a week is not enough. I also miss my mboro friends. It was really rough when I first moved to Nash but it's getting better, which is also kinda sad, cuz there are a few friendships I really don't want to lose. :(

Geez, this blog sucks. Can't decide if it's because it's too honest, lame subj matter (real life), or because I've lost too many braincells to Dr. Mario and cannot write no morsndogflkfb/.:/ I'll work on it. I don't want to disappoint my people. And you are my people, lj, not myspace, at least for blogging. I hate blogging on myspace.

LOVE
moi

The World's Turnin Really Fast Right Now and I'm Gettin Motion Sickness

2007-07-20T01:48:24Z

BIG news: I just won the award for longest update title ever!

My grandmother is the greatest human being of all time! She's letting me borrow her car for an unlimited amount of time (possibly until I move to a place where one isn't necessary?) AND she's letting me borrow some $$$ so I can lay down a big honkin deposit on mi casa nueva! So, hats off to her the finest, sweetest, sassiest woman of all time <3 <3 <3 I may never wear a hat again, that's how much hats off. She.is. best.

So, it looks like Anna and I are moving to East Nash together by the end of the month.:D Problem almost solved. Yaaay.

I'm fat. I know no one wants to hear this but it's at least becoming true. It's not so bad tho. Damian still likes it (but you know what them hispics go for) JUST KIDDIN, BUT I don't like it so much...and I don't think the camera will like it either and...

I'm gonna be in Nashville's 48 hour film festival, which starts in less than 20 hrs. It's gonna be rad w/ Mr. Joel T. Wilson, directing, Joe Southards, writing, Alex Vernon, Shelly Raymond, Troy Blackwood, HEIDI ERVIN, some girl in a commercial, plus many more, acting. And we're competitng against a group led by Demetria Kalademos (sp?) hrrrrrrrmmmmmmm So, anyway, I'm tryin not to worry about the weight that's why God invented the girdle, control-top hosiery, character actors, highlight and shadow, and I have them all. WHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEE!!

Anydoodle that's about all for me. Other than being jobless (maybe Demetria can fix that shit)and poor as fuck, life is lookin pretty good, right now.

Shout out to: RACHAEL SWANN: you've been an amazing friend to me (among other times) this week. This week was hard as fuuuuuuucckk for me (for undisclosed reasons) and you were really there, you and Alex. You are both amazing people and I apologize if I ever treated you or contributed to making you feel like anything less. Thank you, both of you. FOOOO REALLLLLLZZZZZ

2nd Pair of Koodoos: All the peeps at the Sterling pool last nite. Wonderful. Had such a chill and fun time. And we got to see some nasty hot tub sex!! You guys rock it. Thanks for having me, hope it happens again soon:D

AND finally: Lizzie, it was great hanging out with you last week. You are such the shit. Don't ever change. I'ts gonna rule when Matt gets here. I smell an LR.us reunion. Huh? HUH? ((hug))

<3 Heidi

Oh, and my pop just told me he's gettin married and, kinda, asked me to be a groomsmen. WHAT?

Scratch what I Just Said

2007-07-08T02:01:33Z

Okay, so I was a bit prematurely whiney about my graduation situation.

Fact is, this is the accomplishment of a lifetime and I am really happy about it. I think my gloom resulted from a day of mopeing about and a $133 charge on my credit card to get to see the grades. But its nothing a few phone calls, and jumping around the bedroom to Abba can't cure. :D

SOOO HAPPPY!!!!!!!!!

SOOOO FREEEEE@!!!!

IT'S ALL HAPPENING!!!!

OMG, I did it.

2007-07-08T01:57:01Z

ENGL-3000-001 INTRO TO LITERARY STUDIES B+
ENGL-3650-001 LITERATURE AND FILM A

Wow, so I'm done with college! *knock on wood* (I still have some paper-work to complete.)

Today, going with the trend of late, was completely depressing. The plan was to wake up early; clean house; sell books; head it to Clarksville. Unfortunately, I only got through half of one of those things. I'm pretty much still freaking out about the moving/car/job/money/disappearing friends situation. I guess its goodbye care-free college days, hello adulthood. *sigh*

Why am I not happier? I know I couldn't take another class, if my degree depended on it. I'm definitely over and done with college. But, I'm just not feeling the relief or pomp and circumstance I expected. Probably, because it costs money, that I don't have, to celebrate. Also, there's not so much "congratulations" as there is "it's about time" when you take 5 years to finish college. And its hard to feel relief when there's still 50 pounds of debt-fret on your shoulders.

BUT FUCK IT, I must snap outta this. I'm done with school. I worked my ass off. Imma get drunk.

Go me.

Heidi

Mistakenly Identified as Stripper on Paris Hilton Day

2005-06-17T18:26:06Z

Yesterday I had several plans. Thought I would do a little laundry. Swing by Clarksville to pick up my phone. Maybe write a little something. Fuck some plans and logical productive activities!

I began the morning around noon, cleaning my room, good intentions. Brandon came in and said, "We're going swimming." Since I'm desperately trying to quit smoking, I figure let's replace one type of cancer for another and lay out. So, I quickly dress and head over to Breckinridge.

We layed out for about an hour. It was suburban. Then, we decided to liven things up with mixed drinks. Yada, yada, yada we ended up getting sloshed at the Breckinridge private pool regardless of the kids playing Marco Polo and what have you.

And as usual, with every sip that deluded self confidence starts to bubble and I muster up the courage to ask a good-looking 20-something male for a cigarette. Because I'm allowing myself cigarettes only when they accompany alcohol. Anywho, he has some and shares like a middle child in a sandbox. (That one's mine bastards. Copywritten so don't copy me.) The guy ended up coming over to Brandon's for a bite only to ultimately view Brandon and I vomit and pass out. BUT he told us he'd hook us up w/ free Waffle House between the hours of 9PM-7AM and that his gf now's a lot of promising fags.

Around 11PM Brandon and I awake, hungover and groggy. We pop in Sex and the City for an hour and rejuvinate. We both dress and head out to Nashville, arriving there around 2:30. We tried to go to the new Hustler store, which looks amazingly unseedy from the outside. However, the store was closed. So we went to The World's Largest Adult Bookstore. He bought some hilarious-looking gay porn. To polish off the trip Nashville, we went to Cafe Cocoa. Where we drank coffee and I was mistaken for a stripper. It was one of the most flattering moments of my life and it went a little something like this:

(Heidi emerges from restroom stall to meet a petite brunette re-applying glittery dramatic cat/tiger eyes in front of the mirror.)
Brunette: Hey, what are you up to tonight?
Heidi: Oh, just drinking coffee and going to the bathroom. How about you?
Brunette: Just gettin off work. Where are you workin now?
Heidi: Oh, I'm not... Just going to school, (total lie) living in Murfreesboro.
Brunette: Are you tryin to wash your hands.
Heidi: Yeah, thanks.
(Brunette makes room for Heidi's big ass in front of sink.)
Brunette: So you're just getting by, now?
Heidi: Yeah, I guess. Where do you work?
Brunette: Oh, I'm still at Stephanie's (Stephanie's Cabaret.)
Heidi: Oh, FUN!
Brunette: No, it isn't.
Heidi: Well, I'm sorry.
Brunette: Yeah, well, you look great. I love what you've done to your hair.
Heidi: Thanks. You look really cute too.
Brunette: Thank you. Everybody thinks I'm the crazy one (alluding to intense glittery tiger eyes.)
Heidi: I think it's really pretty.
Brunette: Thanks.
Heidi: Well, it was good talking to you.
Brunette: Yeah, it was good seeing you.

It took me a while to realize that she seemed to think she knew me...and I assume that she assumed I was once a colleage. HOW AWESOME! I was so pleased with myself.

Brandon and I went back to his house. Watched most of Death Becomes Her and passed out in his bed with the sun all up in our face.

Revaluating my day, I realized that I'm fucking turning into Paris Hilton. This must be stopped! Send me to the library, stat!....or give me a camera w/ night vision so I can at least do the cunt justice.

BonnaROOO!!!

2005-06-15T22:01:02Z

This post is soo long over-due.

Bonnaroo was incredible. I went with my little brother and two of his friends. I saw some amazing acts, saw more dreads and men in skirts in those 4 days than i'd seen in my entire life. The Mars Volta was my favorite act, by far. I want to travel with them and fufill my career as a gypsy. They had this guy who played all these instruments but his magical flute-playing ability would cause any nerdy bitch to slide off her chair. AND THEIR SINGER is sex on stage! I'm so glad they are in the world!

I think I enjoyed The Dave Matthews Band second best. I'm not too big a fan of them but their live show is something else. Modest Mouse kicked a lot of ass too. But the best part of that show was this guy giving me this E.T. figurine with the year 1982 on the back. I took a picture of him and asked him to say, "Eliiiiooottt." His demeanor got 78 degrees more serious as he said, " No I'm Elliot. E.T. visited my house and brought his family and now I'm sharing them with the world. Now this little guy likes to see the world so you should keep him on your dash or when you are riding your bike...you'll know what to do with it." sooo craazzyyy.

I also saw Gabby La La featuring Les Claypool. Which I dug a-lot. It was weird like The Munsters meets Cyndi Lauper. The Black Crowes were good too. I was looking for my girl Kate Hudson but no dice. Her husband is an exciting frontman tho. Saw O.A.R. That show I didn't dig so much. The band was aight but there were some drunk assholes behind me and it was pouring down rain. Jurrasic 5 I also enjoyed. Saw the last bit of Rilo Kiely. Dug it.

The comedy was a lot of fun too. I met Jim Brewer. Saw Mike Brobiglia, Godfrey, The Tyrannical Teabagger from CHappelle's Show, CHARLIE mutha fuckin MURFEY, Fred Armisen, this HILARIOUS asian comic who's name alludes me, and a bunch of other people. ALSO, I got to see a sneak preview of STELLA the comedy central show w/ Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, and that David person. SOO FUCKING FUNNY!

All in all it was a very fun trip. I got 2 pipes and a glass necklace ornament for $10. Plus the E.T. figurine, of course. People were very generous w/ their weed at shows. So I did get to toke, eventhough I didn't bring any of my own. There were certainly an array of drugs at everyone's disposal. Which was fun. It felt like a villiage that belonged in the brain of a fraggle on an acid trip or something. So neat. Must go next year. Will post pictures after development occurs.

Still don't have a job. Thinking about working at Calypso Cafe w/ Cheryl. OR try to bump off the dude on Junkin' for obvious reasons. ALSO, I may be makin a film pretty soon. Genius Will Fancher has asked me to be in his picture. I'm soooo there. I've been wanting to be in a film since I was a little kid. The script is cool; the part is cool. I really hope this follows through.

The best part about having tang is giving it up, wouldn't you say? And that that's what the austronauts took to the moon. I don't know how much I can say on here about it but someone really is a monster in the bedroom and I can live forever now to prove this.

<3 Heidi

Everything's Coming Up Heidi!

2005-06-08T18:15:32Z

SOOO, I'm goin to Bonaroo now. I feel bad about missing the Blackberry Jam Festival in Franklin but I got offered a free ticket to drive my lil bro and his friend there. I'm so hype!!

In other news, Heidi has lept into the 21st century. That's right kids, internet access from the home! So add me as a buddy. My new screenname is whomoi84.

BarCar was a lot of fun last night but I really don't think stand-up is my shit. Lipstick Lounge done me very right. I gave that the front porch the most straight action it's probably ever seeen, with my very accomadating counterpart. AND I ran into Chris Futtrell at Cafe Cocoa. Good times.

Heidi

Ooo OOO oOo OoO oooeeee Wild Night is Callin

2005-05-25T21:25:37Z

Last night was so crazy, I almost skinny-dipped in a hot-tub full of strangers....Oh wait, it was so crazy I actually SKINNY-DIPPED in a hot tub full of strangers.

BACKSTORY:
Yesterday I started a horrible fad diet. The 72 hour cranberry juice binge one, yeah. And my dumb hypoglycemic ass bought grape-cranberry juice cocktail. THEY WERE ALL FUCKING COCKTAIL!! So I'm completely depleted and starving because I hadn't eaten hardly a thing this week anyway.

Surely enough it's TUESDAY and I must do my stand-up again. I did. It was a lot better than the first time I did it but I don't think I belong there. Eh, well, without experimentation innovation is impossible.

ANYWHO, after the show Brandon, our new friend Katie, and I go to the Lipstick Lounge. I sang 'She-Bop' and we met even more fun, fun, new people (my new favorite pastime), not to mention insanely rich people. So, Brandon and I go over to this guy Paul's unbelievable house. I am shit-faced at this point and we all decide it would be a great idea to have a go in the hottub. IT WAS A GREAT GREAT GREAT IDEA! So 2 gayboys, 1 bi-boy, 1 sayshe'sstraightboy and me are in this tub wearing Paul's swimwear and I say, "It'd be a lot cooler in here if we were all naked." And so we got fucking naked! It was such a premeditated "I Never" moment...
I never skinnydipped.
I never skinny-dipped at a stranger's house.
I never skinny-dipped in a hot tub filled with 4 naked HAWT boys.
I never played Truth or Dare in a hot tub, at a stranger's house, with 4 HAWT naked boys.

SOO much fun. No regrets. I'm pregnant now but, NO REGRETS. ;)

Heidi

I'll Tan for No one

2005-05-20T22:32:32Z

Amembah me????

I hate the Clarksvile Public Library computer system.

The Roxy's Beauty and the Beast is glorious! I fell in love with Gaston. He was the most perfect Gaston, EVER! So, I hang around after the show to shake his hand, suck his dick , whatever I can get from him and he comes out wearing a manpurse, and 2 earrings. BUT I talk to him anyway because I need a little more faggotry in my life and he really did do a great job and... his cover really did match his book. "He's a killa quee-eeen, dynamite with a lazer beam, guarenteed to blow your mind, anytime!"

I'll continue with the theatrical theme. I'm auditioning for Nashville Rep., Nashville Children's Theatre, and Nashville's Shakespeare something or anything Sunday. I'm psyched. I've missed the stage and the psychos that occupy them, as of late.

However, I did march my ass over to the BarCar to do some stand-up comedy last Tuesday. My set was rough, as I threw shit together and said it aloud for the first time the day of the show BUT it went over alrightly. They liked me anyway. And I got my table which included 3 minors and 1 boy (at that time) a round of beers from one of the comics and I WON CO-1ST RUNNER UP. Yes, friends, HEIDI ERVIN IS 1/2 OF THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN NASHVILLE THIS WEEK!!!

If you wish to support me and hear a much better set, come to the BARCAR in Nashville next Tuesday 8/8:30 on 10th Ave. in the Cummins Station, maybe?

Anywho, that was a good time. The events that followed were a bit more eerie but still a good time.

Bruce graduates tomorrow. WHOOP WHOOP!

I'm going back to Murfreesboro tomorrow night.

Heidi

whomoi @ 2005-05-01T22:40:00

2005-05-01T20:48:54Z

It was the best of parties, it was the worst of parties...
Studio 54 was busted 40 minutes into the party. NWA had it right, "Fuck the Police" indeed.

The One Acts went well. Both of my plays had things I loved and didn't like so much in them but all in all they were good.

Playwriting is a funny thing. I like to do it but it's really torturous when you create a character and somebody totally gets it all wrong and your point isn't made. It's like someone is making a mockery of your son on stage, or something. But then other actors, get the characters really really right and bring even more life and personality and energy into them and it makes everything worth while. Anywho, I videotaped both performances, so if anyone wants to see them, holla.

It's pretty astounding that in two nights you can see 9 very decent one acts, written, directed, and preformed by students.

I walked to school today. Looking at all the industrial, trashy bullshit and apartment complexes and thought, "this isn't romantic at all." But it was a pretty day outside and walking is good for the soul, I wager.

Today, I'm gonna clean up and print my final play for playwriting. Work on some other shit in preparation for finals. Blabladiblablabla.

heidi

whomoi @ 2005-04-27T15:36:00

2005-04-27T20:38:49Z

So, Honduras, yeah, I won't be going there. I thought, "Peewee Herman was a pervert and he did great work with children" but such luck did not happen for H-Bomb. Oh well... now I can actually graduate, maybe be in Rocky Horror, work on my stand up, write my ass off, and hold a bit of freedom.

PARTY tonight bitches!!!! It's gonna be like nothing you've ever seen before. That's all I'll say for now but there will be video footage if you are too [] to be there.

I love Brandon Guinn!!!

I'm spastic but you already knew that.

I've been really enjoying life lately and I'm hype about staying here this summer.

Gollie, that's all for now. Boogie Fever, boogie down.

I got a scholarship!!

H

"I love the word faggot, because it describes my kind of guy."- CHO

2005-04-17T23:56:34Z

I had the greatest Play experience ever last night! Thank you Bradon G. and MOODLE. So so so so much fun. Say no to mexico.

I feel more like myself with short hair, which is odd because my hair is historically long, but with short hair, i feel more out-there, like i can't hide my face and this is my hair, i can't pull it back. i like it! plus, i feel less like an actress. i hate feeling like an actress. i want to be heidi marie all the time, until i'm actually playing someone else. i don't want to die thinking nobody knew the real me. i want to be like cnn updating people, who give a fuck, on all the new events going on in me and to me, blahahbalah. like anna, i hate it when people put up fronts. it's bullshit. i see through it. this is what gives me the fab gaydar i spose.
-So says the girl who got in the car accident.

Currently, I am doing anything and everything I can to avoid doing homework. Blah, blah. I'm done with school. Time to make good my end-of-year conquests.

Studio 54/Boogie Nights party. My place. April 27th. Wednesday. Dress to impress! Do a line of coke, and the hustle! Night fevah, night fevah-ah-ah. We are going all out for this one. I'm talkin scenery yall. We've got a scenic and lighting designer, and all of the furniture is being moved out. WHOOOP WHOOP!!

Also, thank you for being a friend. I am so lucky to have the friends and social life that I do. I used to truly feel like a loner at heart, and sometimes I still do but I love you people and I love that I have people to call and places to go. Bless you all.

Heidi

All the Leaves are Brown and the Sky is Grey (J.K.)

2005-04-14T19:56:10Z

Whew, what a world, what a world.

Car wrecks suck.

Missing school is cool until you have to go back.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Two of my plays are being produced here at the MT. 'Rob the Cradle' has been revised and for all of you that read the first draft when it was called "Comme il Faut" should read the new one because it's better cuz I took playwriting and all.-The other play 'I Love Uranus' is a sci-fi nerd's wet dream. So if you are into sci-fi at all, holla at me and read it or come see the shows April 28th and 29th.

I watched 'Mean Girls' last night and I didn't dig on it as much as the first time I saw it at the 8 but it was pretty fun and it made me want to work out hardcore, however this desire hasn't translated into actual physicality so we'll see what becomes of it. <- If you ever wondered what a run-on sentence was, read the above paragraph (?) again!*

I really haven't missed SubUrbia yet. It's been a very pleasant recoop.

I cut my hair today. I just added more layers into it. I don't like it that much. The layer thing was a pussy move for I really just want to cut it all off. However I'm afraid too. Hrmm, we shall see.

I'm staying here this summer. I don't know if I'm taking classes or doing theatre or getting a job but I am gonna be staying here.

I want a house. Dee and I are looking. The more I think about it, the more I think the $300 sub-lease fee is a lot of money, especially considering that we get out of our lease in August. Hrrmmmm...

Blah blah blah. I'm just catchin up on thangs. Sorry, I'm so boring.

The Vegetated State of the Dada's is Friday night at 10:07. I think I'm going up to Clarksville Saturday morning and partying with MOODLE Saturday night. Wheeeee!!!!

Peace in the Middle East
Heidi

Post Partum or Menstruation Depression

2005-04-10T21:03:59Z

Yesterday ended my love affair with a little show called SubUrbia. It was one of the most fabulous experiences of my life. Being a part of a show that I related to sooo much to on a personal level, getting cast in a part that I wanted so badly, getting to work under one of the most brilliant women alive, working with one of the most talented ensembles ever assembled. It's sounds like I'm exaggerating but I'm really, really not, this show was so fucking special and I'm gonna miss it dearly. Where do I go after a show like this?

Anyways, we had a pretty shitty castparty, afterwards, sadly, but I had a swell time before the police ruined everything.

Aunt Flo came to town pretty much immediately after strike and I thought, "how appropriate." I never had to try to hide my tampon during the great mooning scene.

Anyways, I really appreciate all the people that came to see the show, especially Liz, Tony, and Laura Z., and mi madre who had to travel to see it. I love and appreciate you guys so much for that and I hope you enjoyed yourselves.

I don't want to go to school anymore. I love Love LOVE the people here and I'm sure that's the big reason why I'm still enrolled and the only reason my attendence is at about 70%. But other than play-writing, I don't enjoy my classes and I don't feel like I'm getting a lot out of them. Blah, blah, blah.

Last night, I came home, alone, and I woke up, alone. And I really didn't want to be. The social floodgates have been opened, muchly thanks to the wonderful friendships formed in and through SubUrbia and I don't feel like the loner I usually feel like. But anyways, I'm in the headspace that I would really like to have a boyfriend, right now. Maybe it seems like I'm usually pretty hard-up, but it's not even a sexual thing, right now. I'm kind of bored with that, maybe it has to do with my vagina being plugged up with cotton but I went home last night and I was horny because I'm a goat and I had been drinking but I didn't even want to masterbate. I just layed there thinking, where do people meet people?

Plus I feel really damn unattractive. (And please, this is not a plea for compliments at all, so don't even.) I just feel, fat, weird, and ...unattractive, I dunno. Boo.

This is the time to re-evaluate and collect myself. I'm not gonna make a plan or anything New Year's Eve-y but my head is in a shitty, shitty place and I need to maybe look into getting on the Prozac or something. Anna said the other day that your true self kind shines when you're on pot and maybe that's true because the last couple of times I've been on the jane I've been depressed and anti-social.

Blah, I feel fucked-up and I shouldn't and I don't want to, it's just the same old shit. I don't relate well with others. I'm always slightly over-weight. I don't do half the things I mean to do. You'd think I'd be over this now.

Oh, God, disregard this rambling. I'm back on lj. I'm on the rag. I'm on the bone again.

Heidi

TAGLINE: The American Dream. The American Nightmare

2005-03-31T07:06:07Z

The Ten Minute Play Festival just ended. The vast majority of you missed me in a leather ensemble that would put Trinity to shame. The plays were especially splendiforous this year. I wonder if Jose Cruz would let me do him up the butt? Damn, the plays were good. I was really damn impressed by the versitility of all the players and DAMN just the directors and the writers were on the fuckin ball this year. One of my ten minutes went up...the bisexual hypnosis one. It ruled it! Great cast, great director, fucking ruled it! So thanks to all that came and all that were a part of it and to those of you that didn't get to see MTSU's splendid talent...I'll forgive you if you come see:

"It doesn't mean your tree isn't artistic if no one cuts it down."
subUrbia
"Why don't you swallow your cock and choke on it? Oh, I forgot it isn't big enough."
subUrbia
"In the limo?"
suburbia
"Yeah, I'm jealous of jew-loving rockstars who do benefits for starving gooks."
subUrbia
"We're turning turning into Geese, obviously that's what I'm saying."
April 1st-2nd 6th-9th @ 7:30pm April 3rd @ 2:00pm
"THEIKO! THEIKO!"
subUrbia
WARNING: This show contains offensive language, sexual references, sexual scenes, guns, drug references, drug use, smoking, drinking, racial issues, third world politics, performance art, and conversations about porn and Sesame Street. We advise that you view this performance at your own risk. We accept no liability for any physical, mental, or emotional experience you may have as a result of attending this performance.

Thank you Zac Reed for being clever and not caring that little ole me completely plagerize your idea.

Heidi
I'm sorry if I haven't called you. I will, eventually. I promise. Love and miss yous guys, that I don't see everyday.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It Doesn't Mean Your Tree is Not Artistic if No One Cuts it Down

2005-03-28T01:12:56Z

I want Laura Zaughn's tats.

So little to see and so much time. Strike that reverse it.

Tuesday or Wednesday, come see the 10 minute play festival if you can. I wrote one. The bisexual hypnosis one is being put on and I'm in one. I play a dominatrix. I wear a little leather; I have a whip. WHIPPISH!

Friday is the opening night of SubUrbia. I'm hype as hell about this show. Please come if you can. I don't know the dates right off the top of my head but it's this weekend and the next.

I have purple hair now. Well the top is really purple and the bottom is a magenta sort of shade. I like it very much.

Well, be cool my babies. I miss people. (((Huggg)))) Send me food. I'm broke as fuck.

Much love
Heidi

You AH SOOO QUUUEAAAHH!!

2005-02-22T18:57:11Z

Wow, Ms. Dothead and I are not just sharing the same menstruation cycle, we are trotting along on the same brain wavelength pattern as well.

I feel sooo trivial and mundane as of late. My brain (well the cells I have left after binge week) has been tripping over the frivolus and bittersweetly reminicising that last semester heidi. I need to reconnect with that creative, pondersome bitch.

Birthday binge week was very, very fun, however. I did a lot of very crazy shit and so far I don't regret any of it. I'm 21 and I think a little (a week's worth) of drunken foolishness is warranted.

The Cowboys and Indian's party was a scream. I wish more people could have come but it was a nice and colorful mix that showed.

SubUrbia rehearsals have been pretty damn interesting. With such a crazy cast, show, and accent it's enough to make a bitches head pop off at times but I'm digging it, heavily, truth be told. The Boston accent is wicked crazy but I'm gettin into it like ZAZU!

I planned on going back home this weekend but the new Suburbia rehearsals prevent me from doing so. I actually miss Clarksville homelife a little, which is a rarity for me but the birthday went so smoothly and I really enjoyed the fam's company. :( Oh wells, someday when I get the granny's OOOLDSmobile (actually it's a buick but it looks like an OLDSmobile) I will visit them. But this weekend, it looks like I'm gonna see Ballyhoo, Conestoga Stories and maybe The Merchant of Venice with a boy named Dag. Yes, my drunken horniness actually led me to a person that I think I will actually enjoy seeing in sobriety. So cheers to that!

OH and Saturday night. PLAY! with MOODLE. I've have missed that boy so. :) Funny side note: I'm writing a one act about a fag and his hag who work in a bisexual bathroom at a gay club. :) It's wicked good.

Much love and peace to all

Heidi Marie

Best Quiz EVER!

2005-02-16T19:24:59Z

The library has witnessed an array of emotions from me today. Dustin's tribute made me cry and Chris' quiz made me laught out loud- A LOT. SOOO funny, this one is. I'm not too thrilled with the end result but the process was amazing:

I'm a Hunky Faggot! Oh hello. I am completely gorgeous. You may touch me for a nominal fee, although I’d prefer that you were at least as hot as I am. I was genetically engineered for pleasure. Mine.

What kind of Faggot are you?
Brought to you by Pushing Through</a>

whomoi @ 2005-02-10T17:01:00

2005-02-10T23:06:09Z

sooooft pirrow.

soft softah pirrow.

pirrow soo soft makah youl head ferr asreeep.

My place is clean. I feel blech. Not going to V. Mons.' rehearsal today in hopes that I can be 100% for tomorrow's rehearsal and Fye's dressed-to-get-fucked-party and Saturday's lock-in rehearsal and estrogen fest. I love it!

Cum if you can. Februray 13th and 14th.

TOEHEAD- that's my vagina's name- Details to cum...

2005-01-28T17:01:07Z

I think I'm gonna lose an appendage or something I'm fond of because I fucking got cast in 'The Vagina Monologues' yesterday. I got cast in 2 shows in the span of 48 hours! I'll be doin 'My Angry Vagina.' I aspired to get in the chorus because it's improv and fun and I didn't think Ms. A. would give me a monologue but WOWEEE my pissy pussy struck gold! I told her (Ms. A. not my vagina) that I wanted to throw "dirty" tampons in the audience either in the vagina monologues or in the performance piece in 'SubUrbia.' So gross and vile and feminine at once!

So party at my place Saturday @ 10. Call me if you wish to come and CALL ME CALL ME if you need alcohol. :) (931) 216-6202. Remember it is a cocktail party and no casual dress is admitted. :) I think I want a red pillbox hat, any suggestions on where I might find one? PLUS, would anyone like to go shopping with me today? Corrine? Anna? DEE?

Heidi